No?
Kiss my ass then jerk.
Anyhow yes. The local Warmahordes (combination of the two Privateer Press sister games Warmachine and Hordes which are fully compatible with each other outside of how their wizards work basically) had a Journeyman League go on.
Basically you paid the store five bucks, and then got a record sheet to keep track of your wins, losses, and other achievements. And then got some sticky patches to make your Trapper Keeper look cool.
Each week you get points based on playing up to five games each week, and hobby points based on what you painted. After so many points you got a patch add on. If there was some sort of league prize for overall winning I have no idea. Didn't ask.
And to make it more interesting we had weekly special achievements you could get. The bottom shows the scenarios of the week, and the composition rules. Our Press Ganger (basically the local "Street Team" promoter of Privateer Press stuff) allowed us to use any basic battlegroup we wanted, not just whatever was in our chosen faction's starter box. So I went with Grim Angus, a Troll Bomber I had magnetized so I could swap hands and head to also use it as a Mauler, and an Impaler. Making me 3 points under for the first week.
Until the last week your Battlegroup had to stay the same, though in the fourth week you could begin to switch said Commander Wizard. (Basically your Quarterback in US Football. If Phil Simms and Joe Montana could fire out devastating magical spells anyhow...)
This is cool because it gets newer players to slowly get used to their pieces and gives veterans incentives to try out new builds or maybe a new faction.
Given my free time and work schedule I could usually only get a game in each week especially once we reached the 25 and 35 point levels. You got 3 points for winning, 2 for losing, and then paint points. I won the paint part like a boss.
AND AS WE ALL KNOW I BLOODY HATE PAINTING. I am super slow at it. Like glacially so. And never totally happy even when things turn out nice. But I ended up with multiple Journeyman Chevrons, and the Paint Thingie which now are on my 15 dollars from Aldi Ipad case:
(I have three blood donor stickers in total on this case. On the top flap that magnetically closes it and thus hides the speaker and camera hole I have an Intellivision sticker and a miniatures game sticker. I have room for a couple more blood donor ones on this side and the back. The magnetic holder and the way the case bends obviously mean my Journeyman patches aren't gonna fit properly but who cares? I also have Derpy Hooves (PS BRONIES SUCK GO AWAY YOU FEDORA WEARING PERVERTS), Olaf from Frozen, and a graphical abortion from SA Retrogoon Acid Police.)
Yes I effectively paid five whole dollars to have embroidered stickers on my Ipad Case. But the painting part got me working.
It inspired me to paint.
Let's inspire you shall we?
On the right we have a bare metal Trollkin Scattergunner from the metal box I got at half off at Connecticon 2013. On the left, a figure from the same box at what I consider "Base Painted". Primer. Core color spraypainted. Flocked base with painted lip.
Even this small amount looks so much better than bare metal right? It shows you CARE.
This is the same model with spray primer. Again, it alone looks better than bare metal but the leftie is still further along. (In the back you can see my plastic Dire Troll kid in the process of having magnets and liquid green stuff putty applied.)
And now the base color. This isn't hard to do at all or will take much time. And it makes your stuff look better even if you don't have proper time to paint, or much time period. Just spray around the top and sides of the model in a paint box or a well ventilated basement (I do most of my spraying by the bulkhead door in my basement on the steps.), let it dry, put it face down and spray it again to get those under parts, dry again, spray the front. EASY PEASY! Some cardboard to stand them on and you can rotate the board to cover all angles.
But let us go DEEPER, eh? Howabout we add in some flesh to one of our Troll Impalers?
While leftie is a starter box plastic and rightie is a metal they are roughly the same design so it will work. I tried to be as careful as I could to avoid overspill and just adding in the big parts of skin makes him look so much better right?
Wouldn't take a lot of time to get an entire small sized miniatures army up to this standard. Just paint a little bit each day you know?
Now we add some metallic colors. Tin on top of the brown makes for a great low tech metal armor as the Trollbloods might have, and some silvery metallic for the spears and the keg.
And now we give him a hair color, and use two different brown paints to be rope and wood. I generally thinned my dropper bottle paints from Vallejo and Army Painter and my mostly mid 90s Citadel Colour ones were right from the bottle. (And the few mid 00s Foundation but that subline always dries out and needs water so ends up being thinned in the bottle anyhow.)
Now even stopping here gives you a decent looking figure at least at a distance. Give extra coats where needed, and clean up missed spots and where you went "out of the lines" when coloring in 3d.
But washes and shades? As the local Press Ganger calls them:
Liquid Skill
Armor wash on the spear tips makes them feel alive and used! A blue wash on the skin and a little wash in the eye socket brings out the detail and natural shading. A brown wash over the wood and rope makes it used and lived in. And the current Nuln Oil Citadel Shade everywhere else for a very light matte wash that is practically MAGIC.
Sure it won't win any awards but who cares? Cool Mini Or Not has people approving of Eldar Guardians having their breastplate removed as an Imperial Guardsman is undoing his pants as his troopers watch what obviously terrible thing he is about to do to her.
We don't give a happy crappy what they think!
Its a simple and effective setup and I used the base color as a foundation. Rock on!
While it took a TON of my free time over those five weeks I did a bit every day that I could, sometimes just doing a little bit to a figure each day...
I worked hard, even trying out some HAS CHEMICALS THAT CALIFORNIA SAYS CAN CAUSE CANCER, BIRTH DEFECTS, OR OTHER REPRODUCTIVE HARM (and it says you want to keep away from an open flame) Tamiya Weathering Powder to get a great worn and rusty look to my CANCER BEAR. (Ok if I had skill he would have been a Panda, maybe even the super cute Red Panda. But I do not. As it is, my super glue drippage on many of these models took out a bit of detail on the models. How people can glue after they paint blows my mind. Even if it does make getting in all those tricky spots easier. On the upside, you can't see everything so don't worry about those spots as much. Its why a good base color makes a big difference. Or if you just hand paint everything go with black primer for natural shadows. Unless you love to use yellow paint schemes anyhow..)
And more Minion book bros join the fray! Yeah you can see a little flesh color on the inside of Gudrun the Wanderer's cloak but you have to stare at it head on to see it. And fixing it is nearly impossible unless I use a magnifying glass, those hands free grips, and a toothpick. It will do. Like I said, don't worry about what you just can't see!
And here we have it! A full 25 point Trollkin army list all painted! I need to touch up the bases a bit but they are done and will look so very nice on the table. They won't be the match of the work of painting pros or anything but they are simple, clean, effective, and show I care.
I just paint slow as hell. Some people paint a model an hour. I am closer to 4 hours a standard 28mm scale model. Yeah.
But if you use things like a Journeyman League or self set goals you will get your models painted and you WILL make your games that much richer and more pleasing!
Even if you frequently get your butt whooped as I do. (Though the regulars do say I have made a ton of progress as a player. I really need time to read the full Hordes rulebook. I've read the Warmachine book twice but that is every year or so and you forget stuff you don't use, you know?)
And of course PLAY MORE!
Takin the bros out to party inspires you to paint them! It makes you want to buy more of them! To try new stuff!
TO
GET
IT
ON!
Remember to BE AGGRESSIVE
B
E
E
AGGRESSIVE.
(Just not too aggressive because then your Warlock gets eateded by nasty things.)
But sometimes other sides will do the same "Hail Mary" moves you do and you can pull out a win.
(Mostly just Gudrun the Wanderer keeps having to take more swigs from his booze.)
Hope this inspires you to paint more, play more, and check out any local leagues and mini tournaments for the games you enjoy.
Provided they aren't full of hyper competitive tryhards of course!
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