Magic the Gathering: Worst Game Ever?

Its so popular you say. It makes Wizards of the Coast money hand over fist you say.

Well, its extreme popularity has done massive damage to the gaming industry as a whole, but that sort of discussion can wait till when I rag on Dungeons & Dragons.

Its the game design itself that is incredibly broken.

Quick answer: You can go infinite.
Long answer: Magic's whole game design is based around utterly crippling, demolishing, destroying, and ruining the other player. The best decks and the whole point of deck design is to make the most unstoppable deck possible, rendering the other player helpless.

No tactics or luck can save them. A good Magic deck is like playing the original Quake where you have an aimbot, noclip, quad damage, 200 health, and the rocket launcher, and your opponent has: the axe.

The game design is not about skill, talent, or luck. Its about grabbing the most effective deck design you can off the net, wasting piles of money to get the cards of which you should always pull the same combo every time, or mulligan until you get it.

If both players have megadecks its more like a solo game where you have to wait for the other side. Eventually one side pulls their I win setting and takes it all.

Magic is effectively broken. Why do you think they have to keep coming up with shit like Type X, leagues, and drafting? (Which means all those cards you bought beforehand cannot be used. FORK OVER THE CREDIT CARD FOOLS!)
Because playing it as it was originally designed pretty much failed about 6 hours after its debut at Gencon. (Another topic I need to get into one of these days. Gencon and how overrated and irrelevant it really is to tabletop gaming.) About 16 years of cards and its all pointless.

Its not balanced, its not skill based. Its MONEY based. Which makes the above gameflaws even worse. And its main draw is tournament play, which sucks whatever possible fun is there out in a flurry of powergamer hell.

I have rarely if ever felt I lost a Magic game due to playing poorly or bad luck. Its always due to the other player having some unstoppable combo.

If a starter deck doesn't stand a chance against beating a tournament deck, even if its just a 1 in 5 chance (and they don't!), its not a good game design.

Its a game designed to suck money out of people and make socially inept retards feel better by "pwning" people who don't feel like dropping 100s of bucks every quarter to stay current. Or spend less but effectively get 1-2 months of use from their existing cards before the current draft cycle is up.

A GOOD game design should always have victory be 2/3rds strategy, 1/3rds luck. A new player should have a chance against a veteran, especially if the vet underestimates the newbie and that newbie plays it smart. Most likely the new player is gonna lose, but see what he or she did wrong and want a rematch. The newbie will feel it was her fault for making a bad move or that his victory was due to some really shoddy rolls on the veteran's part.

Either way, they will want to give it another go.

Many Eurogames have such philosophies behind them. A casual player can beat an experienced one. I rarely if ever win Settlers of Catan, but I was either outplayed because I wasn't paying attention to what the victor did, too busy getting vengeance on whoever slighted me in game (politics is HUGE in Catan), I had a poor initial setup, or the dice just weren't with me. Maybe it was a mix.

But I ALWAYS feel like I have a chance to win.

In Magic and most CCGs after a certain point, that feeling of "If this had only happened I coulda been a contendah!" goes away. Because you know your deck never had a chance because you didn't spend enough money or copied some deck design.

Collectible games companies know there are enough dupes who will just spend more to try to catch up as opposed to realizing they shouldn't even had bothered in the first place.

Tuesday and Wednesday Game Reports

Well, I would rather not talk about Tuesday Heroquest so we will skip that bit in general outside of some general comments. Pico and I are clearly approaching the game from 2 entirely different angles and its not turning out too well. With luck, we can hash this out next game time or over emails or something. I'm sure we can deal with it and get things back on track.

I got some Ogre minis in trade from Starfury for some of my furniture which will be handy next time we get to play Ogre. A Paneurope box with 2 Super Heavies, 3 Missile Tanks, and 6 Infantry Squads. (Which means 1 3 man base, a 2 man base, and a 1 man base.) Sadly, the other box was Ogrethulhu, which while amusing isn't canonical for Ogre in any way, shape, or form. Its a possessed Ogre Mark Five! Insanely deadly, but not too useful overall.

Missme got me a couple of half depth tubs (Which I insisted on reimbursing her for) to put the Heroscape terrain away, giving my hexes a place to nap, and specialized terrain in the other one. I've pretty much packed one of the tubs FULL, and the other could easily do the same. And this is without counting the inevitable purchase of the new Heroscape box set or the Jungle sets should they ever be released. Its only 3 or 4 months late now..

We also made up characters for Dark Heresy, but actually playing them is a few weeks or more down the road, probably after a medical thing I get to have ruin my schedule and bank account at the end of March. (Depends on how it turns out.)

Outside of that, driving 9IN home was hellacious. Snowstorm started up and the snowplows were nowhere to be seen. Another week where a 20-30 minute trip took an hour. Be glad when the weather clears up.

Luckily the snow turned to rain today and it was relatively fair driving to Sarge's Comics for Warhammer 40K. Grabbed the last 2 parts of an adventure trilogy for Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, then had a little 1000 points of my Tyranids versus Ultramarines. A Carnifex, Hive Tyrant, Broodlord, 10 Genestealers, 14 Termagaunts, and 8 Hormagaunts went up against a Devastator Squad, 2 Tactical Squads, 2 Dreadnoughts, a Captain, and a Rhino. My Hormagaunts and Termagaunts mostly got slammed, while my Broodlord and Genestealers ripped up every Tactical Squad on the board with the Carnifex and Hive Tyrant running fire support/Dreadnought killing. Its nice to see my Nids do so well. Of course the Ultramarines player was expecting a typical swarm horde, and not a Genestealer and Nidzilla force. Jacked up big Tyranids can do very well.

Next week we are gonna see what the bugs can do to Orks. It should be bloody, violent, and an amazing lack of Armor Saves all around. Its rather bizarre when a Carnifex fired Venom Cannon is a bigger threat to a Dreadnought than a Tactical Marine!

Though as usual, my bright orange and navy blue paint scheme had some viewer make a stupid comment about it. Its one of the many reasons I hate painting. I like the scheme because its striking. It is loud and clashy. THAT'S THE POINT. Its partially inspired by the old reddish orange Tyranids from Rogue Trader and 2nd edition.

Oh yeah. and those of you with lives may have a happy Valentine's Day.
I am not one of them.

Adventures in Dark Heresy Character Creation!

Snow on the ground means I can use one of my weather days and not go into work. As I have been highly emo the last few weeks I don't have the excitement to play a videogame at this moment. (Though I am in the midst of Wizardry 7 and Warhammer 40K Squad Command on the PSP I will probably talk about some other time.)

So.. why not experiment with the character creation rules in Warhammer 40K Dark Heresy?

To make it more interesting I am not actually gonna READ the chargen rules, merely skim as needed. I have read its sister game's rules (that being Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, and that being its chargen chapter), so I have a basic idea of things.

For those not in the know, in Dark Heresy you play a member of an Inquisitor's retinue, investigating things for the Inquisitor who is dealing with other, usually more important things elsewhere in the galaxy. The Charlie to your Angels so to speak. Except he generally doesn't give you much money, help, or assistance. Helping the Emperor is it's own reward dontchankow?

Let's see how I do?

Ok, 2d10, character sheet, rulebook, and pencil? CHECK.

Open the book to page 13 and away we go!

Step 1: Pick a homeworld. As I am being silly, I will let the dice choose everything for me. It will be more interesting to see what I get that way. I'd prefer the book to not have all these random bits in it and it be more choose what you want, but it gives you the option for either or in most cases.

The choices are Feral, Hive, Imperial, or Void Born.

I roll a 95, Void Born. I was born on a space station, starship, or something of that ilk. The hardest result to roll.

For skills I get Speak Language (Ship Dialect). Not something very useful IMHO. I suppose my budding Inquisitorial Acolyte could be friendlier with spacefaring types. It could help see when some miscreant is trying to smuggle Genestealers onto a planet or something.

Lots of traits for my dude! I get Charmed, which gives me a 10% chance when using a Fate point (basically a don't die horribly thing all Warhammer RPG characters have.) to not actually lose it. Ill Omened, which gives me a -5 on Fellowship tests with non Void Born Humans. Bummer. Shipwise lets me take Stellar Navigation and Pilot Spacecraft as Basic Skills whatever that means. Guess it'll be easier for him to fly the ship. Its like he can be the Howlin Mad Murdock of the A Team except in space!

Step 2: Generate Characteristics. Ok, I now roll 2d10 9 times, and add it to a preset stat number that starts from 15 to 25. If I were to shoehorn in WHFRP races so I could play Squats (Dwarves), Ratlings (Hobbits), and Eldar (Elves) it could be a wider variation. (Another reason to buy the Fantasy Warhammer RPG. Not only is it a well regarded game in its own right, it makes it easier for me to put in all the stuff they didn't bother to do for the 40K game.)

I get one reroll in here too.
SURVEY SAYS:
Weapon Skill 34 A little above average. I can actually fight off your average Cultist.
Ballistic Skill 37 High! 3 points from the maximum score. I shoot like your average Imperial Guardsman.
Strength 25 For Void Born, Strength is our low stat. Pure average is acceptable I guess. I suppose I won't be headbutting an Orc.
Toughness 28 A little below average. I clearly haven't been eating my Imperial Wheaties. (Now fortified by the screams of a 1000 burning heretics!)
Agility 29 A tad below average. If videogames weren't heresy I would probably have trouble playing Dance Dance Revolution.
Intelligence 39 1 point from maximum! I clearly am a braniac. The problem is thinking is a BAD THING in the 40K universe.
Perception 27 Below average. I guess I spent more time looking at books than I did paying attention to how miserable life in the Imperium is. On the upside my dude can probably spout off a lot of Space Marine chapter heroes.
Willpower 31. Below average for a Void Born. Hmm. I may use my reroll here..
Fellowship 31. Above average. I'm a generally agreeable sort.

I decide to keep 31 Willpower since it is above average for a normal character. I have to keep a reroll if I use it, so I go for Toughness as its my 2nd worst rolled stat. And I roll a 7, giving me a 27 instead of 28. Damn.

STEP 3: Career Path.
I really want Techpriest as my stats support it. But again, the dice are deciding my class. 30! I'm a... Cleric. The Emperor has seen my braininess and decided I should teach people the ways of his enduring Emperorness. I wouldn't have made a very good Psyker anyhow, and that was the class I was most likely to roll. I have a couple Imperial Cleric type miniatures so its pretty fortuitous I guess.

I gain the Common Lore Imperial Creed, Literacy, Trade (Copyist), and Trade (Valet) skills. I could have taken Trade (Cook), and Performer (Singer) over the 2 Trade skills I took, but given my stats and class, a smart guy who writes down books and is a Valet makes more sense. Probably how the Inquisitor took notice of him. Maybe his ship was visited or something.

For Starting Talents I get Primitive Melee Weapon Training, Pistol Training SP, and I choose Basic Weapon Training (Primitive) over Primitive Thrown Weapons Training. My guy is a bit wussy and I doubt a thrown dagger would do more than bounce off a Noise Marine. Who would then laugh and force me to have carnal relations with my own spleen.

I get to select some weapons. A check of the equipment section to see what fits my skills gives me:
I choose a sword for close combat. Does less damage than my other option, a hammer, but its balanced, which gives me a bonus to parries, something the hammer, an unbalanced weapon does not.

Hmm.. Autopistols or Stub Revolvers? The Autopistol has more ammo, reloads faster, but the Stubber hits a little harder and is Reliable, meaning it Jams less. I'm a good shot so Stub Revolver and 6 bullets it is. A cheaper gun, but its basically a .38 Special. I can dig it.

I also get a Crossbow since I can't use Throwing Knifes very well anyhow,a Flak Vest for armor over the more coverage but heavier weight chain coat, an Aquila Necklace, Ecclesiarchy Robes (Good Quality Clothing), Charm (skull), and a Backpack. Yay.

STAGE 4: SPEND XP. BUY STUFF.

But that's not all! I get more stats to roll.
First up is Wounds. I have 10. A bit better than average, but Void Borns have low Wounds anyhow.
Next is those Fate Points to keep me alive a bit longer. I get 2, the lowest I can have. 3 is the highest for Void Borns. Typical luck for me.
Movement is based off of my Agility bonus. Or 2. Meh. A bit weedy in a running contest. I'm easy fodder for a Genestealer. I could probably keep pace with a Squat though.
Wealth is what Clerics have best. Good to know fleecing people is something the Imperial Cult keeps going. 317 out of a possible 350. Poor rolls, but its a ton of money compared to most classes, which can't get past 160 or so! I doubt its enough to "pray" with the Adeptus Sororitas or anything, but I guess that sort of tithe would allow my dude to sniff their Power Armor after a long weekend of torching the unbeliever with cleansing Meltagun...

Now I have 400XP with which to buy initial advances. I turn to Chapter 2's Cleric section to check things out. I'm currently a Novice, and am 100XP from being an Initiate. I spend 100 XP to increase my BS by 5%. Its now 42%, meaning I shoot better than your average Guardsman. I can only upgrade it 3 more times, for increasing XP costs. (All your stats can only be boosted 4 times.) While 250XP for the next rank is tempting, I would then have no other upgrades until I start doing stuff. Willpower and Fellowship both only cost 100XP for their first upgrade, while everything else is 250. I am a man of the cloth, so 100XP for my Fellowship is a good choice too. Its now 36%. It will help with my whole being born in space thing.

I decide the next 200XP will be spent on new skills and talents. Inquiry lets me find out stuff in a casual way which could be good for investigating things. Are those holes in the Guardsmen's bathroom stalls merely a hole to be used inappropriately for passing generally harmless (only 300 whippings for owning) contraband or entrance into a foul pleasure cult? I can find that information out with a little friendly wining and dining. I spend my last 100XP and take Awareness. I need help paying attention anyhow, and being able to see when a heretic wants to stab me to death for finding out about his collection of Daemonettes Gone Wild videos can only be a good thing.

When I get more XP Swim, Laspistol Training, and Sound Constitution look like possible buys.

I'll buy stuff later on, but I check my income and I make a whopping 200 a month.

DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA.

Who knew religion paid so damned good?

STEP 5: ROLEPLAY THINGIES
I now roll for stuff to make my character more than a statline. I'm stunted, standing a mere 1.65 meters tall. I'm mature, a 23 year old. I have bluish skin, ginger hair, and blue eyes. Now I know why I have that minus to my Fellowship to most people, I look damned wierd! I roll Hairless as a quirk, but since I like my character's hair clashing with his skin and eyes I reroll and get the result of a large head. I'm ICKY. This game sure as hell isn't Final Fantasy and its hordes of pretty boys and pretty girls, that's for sure. Apparently I was born on a Rogue Trader ship. Hmm.. maybe mom or dad got it on with some really wierd people on some unknown planet. And to make up for my wierdness I took up the cause of the Emperor, bringing light to the unwashed masses on planet after planet. Kinda cool!

Now for my Imperial Divination: Balls. I get one of the few bad ones. "Dark Dreams Lie Upon the Heart". I start play with 2 Corruption Points. My guy probably DID sniff some Sororitas Powered armor in the past. Or has had some lustful feelings for a Tau or Eldar or something. He really IS a member of the Clergy isn't he?

Now I roll for a name. I choose to give his first name as a male high roll, and his last name as a female primitive roll. Fits being on a Rogue Trader crew. I get Raltus Graki. Sounds neat!

Outside of buying him some more ammo and other goodies he is pretty much set to go. The rules were rather self explanatory, and I didn't need to read all that much to get him on the path to smiting the Emperor's foes. Whenever (hopefully!) I get a campaign going, getting other people's characters made shouldn't take long.

I personally found rolling for everything to be a lot of fun! I made an interesting character and roleplaying him will prove interesting. Now I just need to find people who play the game!

Tuesday and Wednesday Game Reports

No pictures or anything this time as there was no game played Wednesday, and Tuesday was more Heroquest. While we now have an old member back in the fold, who I will currently refer to as 9 Iron Nuke, or 9IN if you will, not a lot really happened. The Priest of Sigmar and Dwarf Slayer both seem pretty well balanced and fun to play, though my playthrough of the Slayer was anything but.

Almost everything bad that could happen to my character did, killing him off in the final battle, meaning due to bad luck I spent a good 90 minutes of gaming having very little fun whatsoever. I might as well have taken a nap frankly.

Nothing like bad luck totally ruining the game. Then again, the only luck I seem to have in Heroquest is bad luck.

Not exactly the gaming week of legend by any means.

I got the 40K RPG in and the book is HUGE. Very impressive to look at! A few of the Warhammer Fantasy RPG items showed up too. But being books, until I get some time to read them, there isn't much I can say.

Sorry few people who read my blog. I just don't have anything interesting to update right now.

I'm not sure if I need gaming antidepressants or just antidepressants period...

*sigh*

Prototype Heroquest Dwarf Slayer Rules

Ok, Pico has the foundation of 2 classes done already and I have ZERO.

Time to up the ante a bit!

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Dwarf Slayer

Attack: 3 (Hand Axe)
Defense: 1 (Beard, and Bad Attitude)
Life: 10
Mind: 2

Description: Dwarf Slayers, due to some dishonor real or imagined are out to die in glorious battle. Is it any wonder they would join a band of adventurers going into deadly dungeons?

Special: Dwarf Slayers MAY NOT retreat from the Dungeon ever or use any form of ranged weapon or wear any armor. They may also not use any healing potion. (But healing spells may be cast on them.) Slayers defend on ANY Shield result.
Against Trolls, Daemons, and Giants Slayers get NO Defense die to roll normally but each Skull they roll counts as TWO rolled Skulls.
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Troubadour

Attack: 2 (Short Sword)
Defense: 1 (Normal Clothing)
Life: 5
Mind: 4

Description: A wandering teller of stories and singer of songs. Their presence is that of a battlefield musician that can inspire their comrades to greater heights of valor. Only being adventurers, they do it better!

Special: Troubadours may use any 1 handed close combat weapon plus the staff or any kind of bow/crossbow. For armor they may only buy up to leather armor and may not use helmets or shields. They have the Musician ability they may use on any turn they choose to either not move or not do any other action. (Lose one or the other that turn.) Once per Dungeon expedition they may sacrifice their movement to use the Standard Bearer ability. They may of course sacrifice their other action for the turn and use their Musician ability to have both advantages on the same turn.)
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NEW ABILITIES: (Also can be used for new classes as modified above.)

Musician: Model may sacrifice its turn to give all friendly models within the same room or any adjacent rooms or corridors with open doors the option to reroll 1 Defense dice result per attack on them.

Standard Bearer: Model may sacrifice its turn to give all friendly models within the same room or any adjacent rooms or corridors with opened doors the option to reroll 1 Attack dice result per attack they make.

Group Leader: Model is the commander of a small unit of monsters in the dungeon. In the fields of the Warhammer World, he or she commands a regiment of troops. In the dungeon they boss around their troops. Model has +1 Attack and +1 Wounds compared to a normal model of that type.

Group Hero: Like the Group Leader, only bigger, badder, and more impressive. They command small armies and could even be the bosses of a small dungeon. Model has +2 Attacks, +1 Defense, +1 Mind, and +2 Wounds compared to a normal model of that type.

Group Shaman: A lesser spellcasting unit. Has the stats of a normal model of that type, but is allowed to copy any one spell from the Chaos spell deck to cast once per game. Before doing the spell as listed, roll the Attack die. If a Skull result comes up the spell backfires with the Shaman being the target. A Shaman may also be a Group Leader. If so, the Shaman gains one extra Chaos Spell to copy, even the same one, and has the spell failure results on either White Shield result. A Shaman Hero gets 3 spells, and it only fails on the Black Shield result. (All other Leader/Hero stats are as above.)

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Balancing the dungeon: When more than 4 adventurers go into a dungeon, it gets progressively easier. It is recommended that Musicians, Standard Bearers, Leaders, Heroes, and Shamans be used to boost up the monsters within. Every extra adventurer entering the dungeon adds 2D3+1 "points" of extra foes. (GM may have them replace an existing monster before they are revealed. You do not have to put them down on your design sheets when balancing for larger parties!) These can either be more monsters, or the special monster types above. These monster types are added to an existing monster in the adventure which is upgraded to the new type. Monsters with 3 wounds or more should not be upgraded!

Costs:
Musician, Standard Bearer, Shaman : 1 point
Group Leader : 2 points
Group Hero : 3 points

Note this means a Shaman Hero is an additional 4 points of monster.

Super Bowl, and Massive Dumb Overload!

Go Giants!

But the game provided one of the most moronic and stupid things I have heard all week.

Ok, I am at work. I work in Connecticut.

One of my co workers loudly wonders how anyone could be happy the Giants won.

I chime in that I was happy they won and have been a fan for over 20 years.

She meanly tells me that I am clearly not a New Englander.

I reply that I have lived in this state all my life and was born here.

She told me to get out of the state and go to New York.

And this folks, is why I hate New England sports fans.

Apparently mulitmillion dollar ENTERTAINMENT organizations who only care about how much money they can make off us are really special or some silliness.

Some people just can't enjoy the action, can they?

Its Snoopy Suppertime Dance Time!

http://forums.sjgames.com/showthread.php?t=35821

OGRE RETURNS.

Ok, its just a PDF release with some revisions to the Ogre Miniatures rulesbook which is long out of print and barely ever on Ebay, but its something! And it means this order of minis I have wanted for quite a while will be placed as soon as I get some cash:



NOW VE DO THE DANCE OF JOY!!!

About time SJGames did something with one of the best wargames ever made!