Saturday Changeling LARP Report: Rufus' War Journal Part 5

(Transcribed from an IRC conversation.)
{No, not a real one. Its my characters talking to each other.}

YOU HAVE JOINED #teamkermit
MESSAGE OF THE DAY: "Little kids shouldn't see people killing each other." - Amuro Rey, Mobile Suit Gundam
Rufimus_Primal has joined the chat
Staffmeister has joined the chat.

Staffmeister: What's up? I was organizing my music. This better be important.
Rufimus_Primal: We had another Lost meetup at TC on Valentine's Day.
Staffmeister: I HATE that day. Just means more people come cryin about the STD they got at some bar 'round 2AM.
Rufimus_Primal: If that was the worst thing that happened it would have been a good day.
Staffmeister: Oh no. What did those druggies do THIS time?
Rufimus_Primal: The area is full of drugs and scum. But we had.. problems.
Staffmeister: Well, considering my only problem is that Kari Byron is preggers and I am not the baby daddy I suppose I can listen to you whine some more. Go on. It sounds like a good time for a cup of tea anyhow.
Rufimus_Primal: Well there were LOTS of people this time.
Rufimus_Primal: Soultaker, this armored guy who just growls a lot and wants to kill and get vengeance on everyone who hurt him.
Staffmeister: So he is an emo Batman type then?
Rufimus_Primal: The problem is he is really powerful. Possibly too powerful. He doesn't believe in justice, just getting even.
Staffmeister: Hey we were in the Navy. What do you do with a cranky douche? Take him to some sleazy bar on shore leave. That will clear him up while giving some cougar a few minutes where she forgets how her life turned out.
Rufimus_Primal: That's not nice dude.
Staffmeister: But its true. Keep going.
Rufimus_Primal: There was also Halyon Rex, who mostly made dumb rude comments about me.
Staffmeister: That's my job Gaia-dammit. Someone has to straighten you out and it'll be me.
Rufimus_Primal: Roderick the weapons maker guy was back too.
Rufimus_Primal: As was Dion the ogre, and Darryl.
Staffmeister: You mean Darryl the Winter King who for some reason you think you can make a heroic type? He is a Winter. They are pansies.
Rufimus_Primal: I don't give up on anyone dude. Everyone has the heart of a hero, it just needs to be brought out. If I believe in them, maybe they will believe in themselves.
RUFUS CHANGES MESSAGE OF THE DAY: "Don't believe in yourself. Believe in the me that believes in you." - Kamina, Gurren Lagann
Staffmeister: You and your cartoons. The world isn't like a cartoon.
Rufimus_Primal: I know. But it should be. :(
Rufimus_Primal: Mia showed up later, plus this quiet spy kinda guy with wings.
Rufimus_Primal: Plus 2 other guys showed up later too, but I will get to them in time.
Staffmeister: Ok, so we have the Dramatis Personae. Let's hear what happened. Last time y'all fought some of the army by their camp and that Mirrorskin douchebag went off to try to Solid Snake up their ammo tents.
Rufimus_Primal: Well he didn't come back. And we got a visitor telling us the Goblin Market was open today for our yearly visit. Because of all the havoc we caused there were restrictions.
Rufimus_Primal: Only 2 people at a time could enter. Myself and Rex went in first while Soultaker went out to kill things.
Staffmeister: So while you were shopping this Soultaker guy was out 'Sperging like a mofo?
Rufimus_Primal: Pretty much, yeah.
Rufimus_Primal: There was a bunch of stuff to buy, some of it useful, other stuff just trinkets from plain old normal real life.
Rufimus_Primal: One item we found there was something of David's the Goblin seller said his people found in the Hedge, but he wouldn't tell us exactly where or take us to it.
Rufimus_Primal: The prices for the items were really wierd though. Prices like an hour of our day, and other things. I didn't take the risk even though some of the things could have come in handy.
Staffmeister: "Trust no one. Shoot straight, and never EVER make a deal with a dragon."
Rufimus_Primal: Yeah. I am not a gambler. Taking a risk for these things just isn't worth it.
Rufimus_Primal: Roderick, Dion, and Soultaker returned from their explorations in killing and brought a letter back they found on one of the patrols, listing that David was captured by the general Jonathan Burgoyne (Aka Red Jonny) and they had some sort of super weapon that can demolish wards.
Staffmeister: Holy Galactic Empire Batman. Except late 70s-early 80s Carrie Fisher I would go to the Death Star to rescue. Silvery-McDouchebag? Not so much.
Rufimus_Primal: Nobody stays behind. We ARE our brother and sister's keeper.
Staffmeister: And now I feel like a dick.
Rufimus_Primal: What else is new? Its what you get being a Corpsman and all. ^_^
Staffmeister: What's wrong with helping people? Oh right. Most people are IDIOTS. That's my problem.
Rufimus_Primal: Anyhow, Rex suggested ambushing another patrol to see if they had the same letter as that could let us know if it was a trap or not. Everyone but myself and Mia went on this one. I don't have the strength to hold back Soultaker so its best I stayed back.
Staffmeister: You finally learned something from me. Being the idealistic goodie goodie you are is great. But there is a time and a place to die for your ideals.
Rufimus_Primal: That sounds HORRIBLE. I was mostly guarding the base. I'm not fond of Hedge excursions. And if the bad guys arrived someone had to protect the freehold, as pointless as it is.
Rufimus_Primal: It was good I did. We were attacked by Jonny and 30 of his troops. I took a few shots at him with my pistol, but he went incorporeal and it went through him.
Staffmeister: How fun.
Rufimus_Primal: Mia went invisible and ran out, so I fell back, and made some phone calls.
Staffmeister: Yet another example of why you should stop putting any faith in these people.
Rufimus_Primal: I can get through to them. I know I can.
Staffmeister: Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you can Care Bear Stare them into being useful.
Rufimus_Primal: Its like the wards weren't even there. They passed right through!
Rufimus_Primal: The others found an enemy patrol and killed it, finding a map with patrol routes.
Rufimus_Primal: We then all met up to plan a counterattack.
Staffmeister: By plan you mean argue right?
Rufimus_Primal: What else is new? -_-.
Rufimus_Primal: Anyhow the assault team brought 2 more Lost with them, a sniper kind of guy and a handyman type.
Staffmeister: So you had Tim the Toolman with you?
Rufimus_Primal: I guess. Maybe. We were sort of busy. We originally planned to assault from the front and the back, except as usual the bickering lead to dallying. Mia went off to get a hold of her friend who could help us.
Rufimus_Primal: You won't believe who it was.
Staffmeister: The Pillsbury Doughboy?
Rufimus_Primal: No. April, the Spring Queen.
Staffmeister: The drunken chick?
Rufimus_Primal: Yeah, and she was dead SOBER.
Staffmeister: Who would have guessed. Maybe there is hope for those schmucks after all.
Rufimus_Primal: Since reinforcements were arriving, we went in from the back, yet some of us went into the Hedge and captured Jonny. I sorta jumped into the Freehold fight and got stuck in.
Rufimus_Primal: So as to keep Soultaker from eating Jonny's soul, I chose to take him out myself. I gave everyone a chance to speak up on his behalf, to hopefully give me some reason, ANY reason not to kill him for his crimes. Nobody said a thing.
Staffmeister: What a surprise there.
Rufimus_Primal: So I took him out. At least his soul didn't get eaten.
Rufimus_Primal: Then a goblin arrived with David's box thing. It had Maude's head in it.
Staffmeister: Ding dong the witch is dead.
Rufimus_Primal: It had a letter in it. This was all David's plan to get rid of his competition. He was playing us for fools.
Staffmeister: What a surprise there.
Rufimus_Primal: And I trusted him. I am not amused. Its like the harder I try the further I fall.
Staffmeister: Hold that thought. Its my idiot sister. She is causing trouble and I have to go deal with this. Don't get yourself killed for those dumbasses before we can talk again.
Staffmeister HAS DISCONNECTED
Rufimus_Primal HAS DISCONNECTED