Kickstarter Ogre Battle Report!

After nearly a year I FINALLY got to run a game of the Kickstarter Edition of Ogre, in all its massive backbreaking glory.  It is not a game one just throws in the car.  It almost needs its own parking spot in a garage.

But I got a game in and even used the Ogre App for my iPad Air.  And now I will share it.

And to make it REALLY special?

COMIC FORMAT!  Another thing I haven't done in an age.  In this case the orange caption boxes are out of fiction commentary.

Given my serious lack of actual hobby games content on this blog as of late (because posting how I lose horribly at Warmachine/Hordes most weeks doesn't really count as content really), I think I have some inspiration now.

Ogre miniatures are 1/285th scale.  And what else do I have in that scale?

Lots and lots of Titan Legions/Space Marine Epic Warhammer 40K miniatures.

But first I have an Ogre scenario to prepare for this upcoming Saturday at Ellis Con in Danielson CT

I am thinking a GEV scenario of my own devising.

So look out around 4pm for Dude, Where's My Ogre, or Why is That Ogre Talking About a Blood God?

Kickshart My Heart: Or: Why Kickstarter Sucks Yet Should Not.

Ahh Kickstarter.  A brilliant idea ruined by greed and basic human selfishness like every other good idea in the history of ever.

For those not in the know, Kickstarter is presumably a way for small and start up companies to get ideas the large idiotic corporations (who ruin Capitalism every day speaking of good ideas gone horribly wrong..) simply will not do because of lack of vision and the modern aversion to risk and selling crap to the lowest common denominator until it doesn't sell any more and they run something else into the ground.

(See Call of Duty and the Guitar Hero games for electronic examples of this.)

Sadly instead Kickstarter is mostly a preorder program.  A preorder program of failed promises.  Almost nothing but failed promises.

Companies whose products are all but guaranteed success use it now constantly even when their previous KS item in the same franchise succeeded in the first week.

Much like it's spiritual cousins Patreon (a way to give money to people who make stuff you enjoy so they can keep making Youtube videos instead of working a real job), Indiegogo (its like Kickstarter except where Kickstarter has to reach a funding level by a certain date to succeed and only then is your money taken out for the project Indiegogo gets it anyhow), and Steam Early Access (basically you pay money for unfinished computer games and hope the developer actually finishes and makes the game good eventually) Kickstarter is like low price investing.

Except for things you might like.

If they come out on time.

And keep most of their promises.

However you are giving them money months if not YEARS in advance and very rarely get what you want or even know if it is good ahead of time.

Just like every other preorder program in the history of ever.

Instead of waiting for a good sale or good reviews or seeing if a game community forms up to make it even worthwhile you have to give your money now and hope.

All the while the producers get to pretend you are involved and helping them make something great.

It's really just low risk production for the producers which I honestly cannot blame them for even if as a consumer it SUCKS ASS.

I am basically done with Kickstarting anything.  Nearly every project I have interest in succeeded by leaps and bounds regardless of my involvement and having to give money to a thing within a month window is generally bad for my finances.

But let us take a look at what I did Kickstart so we can see exactly why I am sick of it and what I have gotten out of it eh?

(The answer is mostly disappointment.)

See this is pretty much everything I have Kickstarted.  Of these items and note the dates I have only gotten FIVE of them at all.  Four of them are not out yet by their own estimated date.  Thirteen projects.  Nine supposed to be out by now.  Almost half of them aren't out yet that should have been.  And as far as I can remember not a single one remotely was out on time.

The usual excuses?  DURR WE WERE OVERWHELMED BY OUR OWN SUCCESS.

UHH STUFF CAME UP WE WEREN'T AWARE OF.

CHINA HOLIDAYS.

So if you were buying any of these sort of projects as a gift for another or in preparation for a convention or other sort of holiday or event?  You done screwed up!

Now that we have seen the master list and how much money I wasted sight unseen, let us talk about each one so I can go back and see exactly how much I got screwed?

Cosmic Star Heroine: It isn't out yet.  I mostly just see the odd update once in a blue moon about it being worked on and here is a screenshot of a thing.

Shantae:  Again not out.  Higher tier backers get to vote on enemy sprites for the game and stuff.  I've seen pictures and the like.  Yay?

Warmachine Tactics:  So far it is mostly coming out when prescribed or close enough.  Except well.. two problems.

1: The solo campaign isn't due till LATE NOVEMBER.  They had a series of limited edition miniatures you could buy as well with a special coin.  For 20 bucks.  In general the now normal wide release (but coinless) versions that came out four odd months later have better sculpts. For 15.  Yes.  I grabbed the Mercenary figure because I disliked the Khador sculpt.  And guess what he looks like?

 

That's right kids!  HE DOESN'T WORK FOR ALL THE FACTIONS!  And as far as I could tell his stat card wasn't spoiled or anything till well after the purchase window closed.  He works for three out of six depending on your viewpoint of Mercenaries as a separate faction.

2: The game is.. so far not so good.  In fact a lot of people are unhappy about it.
 You see, mostly the game has been selling to Warmachine/Hordes fans as a way to play the game online or against the computer with an RPG Tactics styled solo campaign.  Well the game takes serious liberties but keeps just enough to annoy while playing slow as hell in multiplayer.

One nice thing they eventually did was open Early Access play to all backers while earlier on suckers who backed at a higher level got to play it early in a MUCH less polished state.  Or suckier suckers who paid the equivalent (65 dollars US) to get in early after the fact.

And I just did normal game backing due to funds and not wanting to pay more for a WORSE GAME.  So I got to see what they did recently.  The game changes a lot for the hell of it and most of the changes make for a slower game and a more boring one.  Squad units are now individuals who always have Hit Points even if they did not otherwise in tabletop.  A number of attributes are no longer listed in numbers even though the game uses die rolls.

Oh, and lots of mechanics aren't working like tabletop though they are supposed to.  Some of this will be patched in later but not all.  And much like Mechwarrior Online I am guessing online play metagame will quickly show this to be a bad idea.  Either go for 1 to 1 translations as much as possible, or don't even try.  Going half ass is just a big mistake.

It looks pretty though it runs very slowly in both game design for multiplayer and in engine FPS speed.

I am not ready to write the game off yet but their "everyone is an individual" design conceit actually makes the game slower and clunkier than just having squad movement options.  A fair amount of people I have talked to are less happy with it than I am.

Robotech RPG Tactics:  Well this one is super late.  Like ultra late.  And it is even worse than it seems.  You see they had a "poll" to see if they could be allowed by backers to sell some of the first copies of the game at Gen Con this month.  Well magically a near 80% of voters said it was ok for people going to a midwest gaming convention to purchase the game before people who paid money for it over a year past.  Thankfully the game got "Held up at the customs port" and nobody got it.

Even worse?  I am one of the people who just bought in for a couple of the LE figures.  We aren't even in the first wave of products.  Probably our stuff is due NEXT YEAR.

Keep it classy Palladium!

Torment:  Not out yet.  I've seen a couple pictures I think.  It might already be declared as late.

Deluxe Tunnels & Trolls:  Well it isn't out yet and they do not know when it will be out.  They are working on it.  On the upside they have given preview PDFs and various freebie PDFs from RPGNow/DriveThruRPG which is nice of them.  Disappointing in being so goddamned late but at least they are giving extra goodies.

Sword of Fargoal 2:  Another late as Hell with no release in sight project.  They have given us the original remake that I paid money for on iOS for free (which is quite good), and a couple early alphas.  Disappointing.

Transforming Collections:  It was a couple months late.  But we got a lot of full or nearly full PDFs of the book in development.  He later on did a second book but I decided to not bother given the short(ish) delay on this one.  Again if the first book did well why would you need proof a second one would do ok?  Its sending risk over to the consumer.  Because in our modern world of Ron Paul's Blessed Randian Free Market the consumer is always the bottom.  Because we take it where it is uncomfortable.  And not in the backseat of a Volkswagon.

Reaper Bones:  I cannot recall how late this one was.  It might have been close enough to ship date for me to be ok with it.  But the end product was.. I was unhappy.

See these miniatures don't want you to use spraypaint or spray primer.  You are supposed to paint right on top of the unprimed plastic otherwise you end up with eternally tacky feeling paint.

I am still not sure how this model ended up allowing me to prime her.  (She has a bit more paint on it than this now.)

You DID get a lot for your money if you don't mind painting right over unpainted white plastic.

Most pieces are single part but a few of the larger ones are not and need a little glue and gap filling.

I traded and sold off a few and a few more I am keeping but overall I am gonna trade/sell these off once an IRC friend gets off his Philly ass.

Oh, and they did another Bones Kickstarter in spite of this one doing super amazingly well.  I passed given the sheer disappointment I felt with the model's inability to accept any form of spray paint ever.

Sedition Wars:  Another one I recall being late.  But not too too late.  The included rulesbook was generally considered to be massively flawed but I got a revised book for a couple bucks and they have had beta PDFs with new missions and a solo mode option.  The game did NOT do well to the point the 100 dollar core game was on flash clearance sales for 35.

The models are very nice but use that kind of plastic that is kind of rubbery when warm and needs super glue.  Which is good because getting the infantry figurines for the humans together would be hell other wise.  And I still have not assembled everything.

I did mostly paint up the cybernetic zombie figures for a Gamma World game that never even got to the point of using them.  I still need to finish these guys up but I don't need them immediately so you know, why worry about it?

Ogre Designer's Edition:  Its great.  But it was an entire YEAR late.  I have covered it previously so no need to post pictures and the like.  Plus whenever I get around to posting about my Ogre collection there will be more pictures.  Until then just search the blog if you want to see how absurdly BIG it is.

http://wargamedork.blogspot.com/search?q=ogre  here.  I did the work for you.

Shadowrun Returns:  This one was about six months or so late.  And is tied with Ogre in being one of the only KS projects I am overall pleased with in spite of a massive delay.  However if I hadn't KSed it and waited a couple of weeks I would have had a generally slightly better game.  The expansion I got free (Dragonfall) was EXCELLENT.  So excellent in the next month or so it is being released as a stand alone release with expanded content.  If you are silly enough to want to replay the whole game.

Or like so many things based around preordering or the like:  I COULD HAVE WAITED SIX-TWELVE MONTHS AND GOT A BETTER AND CHEAPER EXPERIENCE.  You see this is another reason why Kickstarting or preordering things is bad.  Unless you are one of those who simply has to be first and at the forefront why not wait and get it better and cheaper?  See if it is any good.  See if a community exists for it if needed.  Wait till the flaws get fixed with bug patches or an FAQ.  A sale.  You know, what a non consumer whore does.  Do you really need to talk about it online current events style?  If so.. ask yourself WHY.

But the game is so fun I cannot say I wouldn't mind going through it again though.  Eiger is totally cool.

Shadowrun Dragonfall kicks butt.

Wasteland 2:  It is so late it isn't out until next month!  To be fair I could play Early Access for months but why play a limited and less patched version of the game?  I should not do this.  So why not wait?  They did give some free digital downloads of older titles though which ones Wasteland 2 gave me and which ones Torment did (or if they both did) I no longer recall.  Still.. a YEAR late?  REALLY?

http://wargamedork.blogspot.com/2013/11/retro-computing-why-bother-special.html

But at least they try.

And that is the biggest problem.  Kickstarter wants to be a way to patronize projects that otherwise wouldn't be made.

Instead it is a preorder program so companies can constantly be months if not years late giving you anything.

And that is why I simply avoid almost any and all Kickstarters.

Well, for the hobby games segment there is another reason too.  Perhaps that will be another post eh?

Ellis Con 2013: A Quick Report

Saturday in one of the middle weeks of November as it usually is there is a small one day gaming convention in Ellis Tech up in Northeastern Connecticut.

ELLIS CON.

Put on by the school's Simulation Club to fund some activities for it, this convention has been occuring for a good 25+ or so years now.  This is only the second time I have gone, thanks to my work and sleep schedule.

(This year I was also gonna be hanging out with a friend from IRC who was even gonna hook me up with extra old computer gear and I was going to cover entrance fee.  Plus possibly booze afterwards.)

As the convention closes at 9pm and its about 45 minutes from where I work and I had a late start that night I could go provided I was willing to forego 3 odd hours of sleep.

Well.. I have money so.. let's rock!

(As always click pictures for larger if you wish.)

Approaching the school I wondered if I had the right place.  The last time I was here it was.. kind of a run down looking "Votech" school like the one I went to in Norwich CT.  Now it looks more like something Umbrella Incorporated would be creating new bioweapons out of!

Nope.  I am at the right place.  Last time the con was in their Aircraft classroom/hangar thingie.  I wonder where it is this year?

A REALLY great looking gymnasium!  The tables looked super new and ultra classy.  There was even a nice floor covering, probably to keep the basketball court from getting scuffed up.

With the 10 dollar entrance fee you got a nice little event booklet with the various scheduled games and a quite amusing cover.  (Entering there is also a little concession stand that seemed to be doing quite a brisk business.)

A setup for an event happening about the time I showed up.  I think.

A game of Dust Tactics going on.  The first time I have ever seen this game actually being played. Looks cool.

A game of the sadly out of print Heroscape going on.  The last time I was able to attend it I got to play this.  

A ticket for one of the door prizes.  I didn't win but someone with a number 3 digits less did.  Talk about being CLOSE.  It might have been me if my friend actually had showed up instead of me calling them a couple times before leaving.  

Some of the items up to be previewed for the auction!  Money for both the seller and the club.  My eyes were on the central object of this picture.

A different view of the gym.  I didn't get a shot of the two vendors who by this point seemed to be closing up shop.

And it got dark while I got in a game of Ogre !  My copy is still being organized but thankfully someone else has gotten his all ready to go.  (Good work Seth!)  I had brought my miniatures with me so our forces got to be all metal.  If colored opposite to "canon" colors.  

A train was coming in.  We had to stop it.  I had command of the armor and infantry.  

Following basic orders from Seth commanding the Fencer I sent my GEVs on an intercept course for the train and did my best to both cover said Cybertank and get some damage on the Combine's.  

The train is coming in!  My GEVs skim through the city for cover, Combine GEVs on my tail.

Savage fighting by the other city.

The Combine GEVs try to guard the train but one of them gets blasted!  A heroic Paneuropean GEV driver decides to ram the train.  The mission is ALL.  HE (or she) SUCCEEDS.  The engine is scragged and the entire train is destroyed given how fast it was going.  MISSION SUCCESS.  But we are outgunned.  

The heavily damaged Combine Ogre Mk3 does a heavy amount of damage to my conventional forces, while the Fencer is hammered.

The Fencer having lost all of it's weapons goes to escape to the south via the road while my remaining forces try to keep themselves from completely collapsing to the superior numbers.

My surviving infantry squads get into the city as does a single Missile Carrier.  Can we hold on and keep the city?

One Combine squad is eliminated before they could enter the city, and my missiles do more damage to the Ogre.

One squad sadly gets into the city and eliminates the carrier.  Given the benefits to infantry in cities the battle could go on for quite some time.  We call it there as the auction is about to begin!

To make the auction more efficient you register your name and get a lettered paddle.  Some folks gamed while taking part.

We even got this neat little promo card for an upcoming card game.

And the card back.  

My winnings!  A sealed 100 dollar game for 35! Ablaze! sealed for 5!  Platoon for 4!  Sadly Platoon was missing it's scenario book.  Guess its off to the internet for that.  Must be Charlie Sheen's TIGER BLOOD.

Ablaze! looks like a fun little portable board game in the Eurogame tradition.

Platoon is an Avalon Hill hex and chit game.  A lighter set of rules ala the Gettysburg Anniversary Edition I have.  A quite nice map board in there too.

And Horus Heresy!  I was VERY happy to get this!  Someone noted my enthusiasm and offered me his sealed 1st edition Space Hulk for 150 since he didn't think to put it up at the auction.  I.. declined.  I have 2nd and 3rd edition Space Hulk for one, don't have that kind of spare cash for second, and probably wouldn't pay 150 for it regardless for third.  Even if I do love the original derpy looking plastic Space Marine Terminators...

As it is getting late and I want to run an errand before going to get ready to work like a responsible adult I check out, skipping on playing a horse racing game and the infamously funny Cards Against Humanity.

I had a pretty good time!  I only wished I could have been capable of getting there earlier to play more games.

If you live in the region I do recommend Ellis Con.  If you don't?  Find out if there are any similar smaller conventions in your region.  This one benefits the school's club.  There may be a local one doing something similar for either a school or just to help a general charity.

Ogre Kickstarter Part 1: SWEET MOTHER OF PRINCESS CELESTIA/GOD/CTHULHU/OLD DIRTY BASTARD...

Yes.  The delayed for a year ultra game has finally been inflicted upon the gaming world.  The megagame version of a game one could fit in a pocket originally, or slip into a backpack in the version I fell in love with.

The greatest wargame ever made.  The Jesus Christ to Munchkin's Anti Christ.

OGRE.

While this is merely the first part of my Ogre coverage of this version and my Ogre collection in general, this game is so... absurdly massive the pictures I took of my unboxing of the main set alone say more than I ever could just about.  And this isn't even counting the bonus box I got too.  (Maybe show that whenever I cover part 2.)

So gentlemen behold the Mandingo of Wargames.  The Atari 5200.  That South African SUV that's immune to having explosions under it.  6 inches of thickness.  20 inches of tall.  24 inches wide.

Behold the Hell That Came to Kickstartertown:

 (Please click pics for larger if you really want to see more detail.  Also camera flash or fuzzier picture.  Deal with it.  Maybe my lower MP Ipad Air whenever I get it will take nicer pics even with being a 5mp compared to 14.1?)

 This is the main box Fed Ex dropped off.  I could have had this yesterday but I sleep days and had to leave the signing slip oking them to just leave this and the smaller box on my back porch.

Our metric using folk can convert this if they want.  Hint: ITS BIG AND HEAVY.

 Eventually this uber cute and cheap mini reprint of the original zip baggie game will be available for all to buy.  Like in Summer 2014 apparently.  I will be buying plenty to gift.

 And the back.

 Yes that is a Lego Santa Claus Minifig for scale.  It is an enormous box.  I ripped the plastic off trying to pull the SOB from the shipping box.  I ended up putting it on it's side and sliding it out.

 This is the back sheet covering the actual back of the box.  Along with all the counter sheets.  They don't all fit into the box to begin with!

 The nifty Ogre Mark 5 poster also included.  Smaller than the box size.

 The FOUR packs of double sided, pre cut counters.   Stacked together it is 2.75" or so THICK.  Big heavy full color cardboard.

 And the back, showing how insane it all is.  It may be the ONLY boardgame I have ever seen that recommends TWO PEOPLE LIFT IT.  Its like 20-25 pounds heavy.  And larger than most minitower computers.  

 All the sealed plastic bays to put your cardstock assembled bits in.  Even labeled for you!

 And Big Steve's personal thank you slip.  Also possibly showing how nobody at SJ Games realized how many people love Ogre and not that Munchkin garbage.

 Taking the two garages off we have another layer.  With map sheets, some zippy bags, and sadly the folding original Ogre mapboards just floating around in there.  I have no idea how they are supposed to fit really.  And neither did the factory that made this thing.

 Moving some of the geomorphic 4 way fold normal map boards out of the way we see MORE labeled spots for all this stuff, and the fancy pants dice with the main faction logo and their color on it.

(This will probably mess me up a little as my metal minis are in reverse colors I think.  Bugger.  I suppose I could just respray them or spend a few weeks Simple Green soaking and cleaning them all..)

 Some of the damage to the original Ogre board.

 And some more.  I could probably just fix it myself with a little white glue.  Depends on if I want my 150 or so dollar investment (that I probably could have sold for 200-250 on Ebay if not more.. the only Ogre auction I saw ended over 200 for the base game and none of the KS bonuses I had) to be perfect before what little use I get out of it because Southeastern CT gamers are all boring and or antisocial for the most part and only play their one or two beloved games and thus it won't wear out except if I handle it badly.

It just makes me feel a bit sad.

 Looks fine and dandy on the side that MATTERS though.

 One of the short sides of the box top showing some of the models assembled and some counters.

Not shown is the bottom box sides which have all the Kickstarter supporters on them.  Eventually I will look for my name.  If I used my Net handle I will take a pic of it in a later update.

 Main full color rulebook on top of all the other sheets included in a big zippie bag.

 Full color.  Nice art.  The people look like actual gamers who were drawn in the manual or something.  I could go check the Kickstarter page to find out for sure but I don't feel like it.

 The scenario book.

 Two double sided sheets of what looks to be dry erase record sheets if you don't feel like downloading the Ogre app online for your favorite tablet.

 The other side full of Ogre-y goodness.  

The two reference sheets included.  Showing one side here and part of the other.  This is like a third of what I can post about Ogre so it is getting long enough for one post.